Submitted by Herc Paloumpis
Don't name a pig you plan to eat.
Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.
Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
Keep skunks and lawyers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.
Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
Meanness doesn't happen overnight.
To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.
Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal; it just ain't helpful.
Teachers, Moms, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.
Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.
Two can live as cheap as one, if one doesn't eat.