If you asked for my advice

This also is the time of the year when a speaker will deliver a motivating speech at graduation exercises. I don't even remember who spoke at my high school graduation 44 years ago. I never attended my graduation ceremonies from college and graduate school so I was never given the chance to be motivated.

While my credentials probably do not qualify me to be a speaker at a graduation exercise, I would like to take this opportunity to pass on some advice to our new graduates. Quite frankly, anyone over the age of 50 is probably qualified to pass on advice to graduates since they have received the best education of all - from the school of hard knocks. Take it from me, if I had the experience at 17 that I have now, I would have done things differently. Unfortunately, young people do not have the benefit of experience and, therefore, must accept advice from their elders in good faith.

My mother told me when I was in high school, that I had better enjoy it because it will be the best years of my life. I don't think it turned out that way for me, but then my mother's point of reference was influenced by the need to raise 4 sons during the Depression. Young people today have no idea how hard life was years ago. That is not their fault, but it is something to consider when you think you have it hard today.

First of all, I must mention that I was not voted as the most likely to succeed in high school. I had a rocky start in life but managed to stumble into a life style that worked for me and I managed to make a comfortable living. Today, I am completely happy with my life because I feel that I was true to my own feelings and acted on my instincts rather than trying to emulate someone else.

Here are some things I learned along the way.

1. Make every effort when you are in high school to excel at your studies. Even if something seems boring, make an effort to do well. You will find in life that there will be things that you have to do that you don't want to do. Getting an A in a subject you hate is good practice for future unpleasant tasks and also helps develop discipline. An average student who has discipline and works hard will more likely succeed than a brilliant person who is lazy and undisciplined.

2. Try to get into the best college possible. I wish that I had studied harder and received better grades. I wish that I could have gotten into Harvard. The better reputation a college has the more opportunities you will have to get that first good job. Having said that, after your first job your work experience becomes more important than where you went to school.

3. Develop good personal habits. Do not smoke and try to keep drinking at a moderate level. I quit smoking when I was 26. If I hadn't I don't think I would be alive today because I was a heavy smoker and have battled high blood pressure all of my life. Also, smoking is looked down on by corporations. Most businesses require smokers to go outside to smoke regardless of the weather. Whenever I go to Chicago, I notice office workers gathered around the entrance to the building to have their smoke. They almost look like they are in a police lineup. When I was young smoking was cool, today smoking is definitely not cool and can hinder your career.

5. Dress for success. Having the proper education and training will get you into the corporate door. Once you are in, other things come into play to determine how far you advance. Among them are your appearance. If every thing else is equal, those who are well dressed and well groomed will get the nod over someone who isn't. Corporations associate good grooming with good work habits. I bought a book years ago called "Dressing for Success". From that I learned that wearing a conservative gray suit with a white shirt, black socks and shoes will impress management more than if you wore a brown suit, with a yellow shirt and white socks.

6. Learn to present yourself well. Being able to speak well and to be able to speak in front of a crowd is an invaluable asset. Many people are scared to death to speak before a crowd, but those who can will advance faster in their careers. A well spoken, well groomed, pleasant person with average abilities will outpace a brilliant person who is arrogant and dresses like a slob, unless that brilliant person owns the company.

7. Be honest with yourself on what you really want to do. Don't do something just because you want to keep up with a successful friend or relative. Doing something you really enjoy for less pay is preferrable to working at a well paying job that you hate. Be willing to adjust your life style to fit your income. Don't make the mistake of getting a job just because it will give you a certain life style. Remember, your job is just one aspect of your life. Life is too short to do something your whole life just for the money. I had a good paying job with prestige that paid well but the pressure was unbearable. I finally just quit one day, went to Europe for a year, and came back a new person with new priorities in my life. Don't be afraid to admit that you made a mistake about a job. Bite the bullet and start over. Don't be afraid to take chances. We are only here once. Don't blow it by being timid and afraid.

8. Be careful about getting into debt. Make sure you feel secure in your career before going into too much debt. There is nothing more fool hardy than working just to pay off a large mortgage with nothing left over. That is what broken marriages are made of. Nobody really cares how nice a house you have except maybe you. Impress your friends with your personality, not your assets.

9. Try to lead a well rounded life. Develop interests outside your job. You need to have something to look forward to away from your work whether it be gardening or golfing. Get involved in volunteer work for your community. The positive feedback from doing something for others is a good release from the pressures of work. Stay physically active. I feel much better mentally and physically if I exercise.

10. Last but not least try to find someone you want to share your life with. Try to find someone who has the same interests as you to provide momentum to the relationship after the romance cools off. Living alone is like the sound of one hand clapping. The things in life we enjoy are enhanced by sharing them with someone. Likewise, the sorrows in our life are also borne easier when shared with a loved one.

All of the above advice you have probably read somewhere else and there are more words of wisdom that can be imparted. Someone once said that the two basic things that will bring happiness in your life is to love and to work. In my case, the ten commandents that I have just listed were instrumental in shaping my life. I have no regrets at this stage of my life. I hope every graduate can someday say the same thing at the end of their career.