Smart Alec Answers
Submitted by Gary Cinnamon
SMART Alec ANSWER #5
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
**'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in
front.
***'What are my choices?' John asked.
***'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART Alec ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
***She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
***The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
SMART Alec ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window.
***'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop said.
***The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the
cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.
SMART Alec ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway A sign comes up that
reads, 'Low Bridge Ahead.' Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up.
***The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his
hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
***The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
of gas.'
#1. A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas
cards.
***She says to the clerk, 'May I hav e 50 Christmas stamps?'
***The clerk says, 'What denomination?'
***The blonde says, 'God help us. Has it come to this? Well, then, give
me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.'
# 2. A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. ***She is
not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I
look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
***The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
He never heard the shot..
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